Toil and Trouble

I hate insomnia.  Unless a drug is keeping me awake, I see no reason to sit up all night.  I have had so little sleep the last three days, and three's no damn good reason for it.

I'm due in to work at 9am, and then I'm pulling a double the following day.  The Prince has turned ugly the last few days and seems to be reveling in his swan status...every night he's talking about a new guy.  We have a tentative outting scheduled for Thursday.  I doubt he'll make it.

I'm mortified by my body.  I'm going to drive to the gas station to get a pack of cigarettes and think about how I can lose weight.

Current Mood: cranky

I didn't sleep well last night, which seems to be the norm these days.  My cat is being cranky and it's cold in my room.  I live in Florida and it's cold.  The sun is up (I know this because my eyes are insulted by its existence), but my room is COLD.  Bastards.

I want pizza.

Current Mood: cranky

As I sit here, getting a cold and suffering through the start of a sixty hour work week, I am struck with awe at the fact that an old actor friend of mine (whom I lost contact with eons ago) is now on the infomercial for Magic Bullet.

Back to Bizarro world.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Family Guy is on TV

Countless times I have started a journal, and I have failed in every attempt so far.  Will this one be updated more than once every two years?  (I think I’ve asked that in every prior journal).  Perhaps this one is different...only two people I personally know will read this journal (and they live on the other side of the continent), and I intend to keep my identity quiet enough so that I can write as honestly as I wish.

So, what do I write about anyway?  This was started because I would like to write a book...but every time I think I should sit down and start I immediately turn on the TV or boot up a computer game to veg myself.  This journal is my attempt at provoking my skills.  Since this is the first entry, perhaps it should offer a snapshot of my life.

I am 30 years old...and finally learning what it's like to be an adult.  I grew up in Kansas City and moved to Orlando, Florida (Where I currently reside) on a whim in 2003.  Whims are not rare in my life...During the turn of the century I traveled the country just for the heck of it.  My life has been described as that of a gypsy...both bohemian and perhaps a bit wicked.

My former careers were constantly at odds with each other...I've worked in the financial world, and in the entertainment industry most of my adult life.  Every time I tell people 'the entertainment industry' some jackass inevitably asks, "Oh, were you a stripper?"  Clever...but no.  I worked as an actor, singer, dancer...blah blah blah...whatever paid.  Was I famous?  No.  Did I get rich?  No.  But was it a real job?  Yes...I did get paid, and I was pretty good at it.  Perhaps I'll go back one day...at this time I don't know.

So back to the stripper thing...simply because I know the internet is full of voyeuristic tendencies.  I am an average 5'10" and not overweight, but also not rail thin.  My friend Steve told me once I had a 'wonderful medium build.'  I have been close to 200 pounds, and as a child I was so skinny you could see my ribcage.  But for the current, I am of average build...could use some time at the gym.  My hair is dark blond, with a dashing graying at the temples...and a not so dashing thinning.  I have enough of an actor’s ego to be bothered by it every now and then...but I'm determined to be as sexy as Captain Picard...if not more so.  My eyes are blue...and I get a lot of compliments on them.  And my smile is probably the first thing that people notice about me (An inheritance from my mother...who attracted at least three of her five husbands with her smile).  My face is plain...and considered by some to be reasonably good looking.  I believe I have been beautiful in my life, and I believe I have been ugly.  Regardless of what I believe, I know I have *always* been sexy.

Socio-politically speaking I am a typical democrat heathen gay man.  Meaning I hate George W. Bush, I have respect for Jesus...but we didn't work out (He thought he was God and I disagreed), I listen to musicals in my car, and I like sex.  Though I am a good person, I've never persevered to be 'nice'.  I have focused on being a loving, fearless and authentic person.  I'm funny, adventurous, and rarely offended but often opinionated.  My specialty is in thinking outside of the box...and I'm right a staggering percentage of the time.  To make me even more likable...I readily admit when I'm wrong (Though, as mentioned, I rarely have to do that).  I type 60+ words a minute, but a horrible speller.

As I said, I moved to Orlando a year ago...which included a complete life change.  I moved from a great apartment that was known as the 'party pad' with an extravagant annual Christmas part, to renting a room in a small house.  I am not used to roommates, having lived alone for the past 10 years.  But Florida incomes are not what they are in the rest of the country.  My career also moved from the business/entertainment world to the hospitality industry.  As Orlando is a major tourist destination, this should not be a surprise.  However, it's been an adjustment starting 'entry level' at my age.  I took a 50% pay cut when I moved here...and currently I am unsure as to how I survive.

My cat adopted me a few years ago...a stray older than he appears.  I love movies of all kinds.  I usually watch Cartoon Network at night (Adult Swim).  My life is patterned after Sex and the City and The Powerpuff Girls.  A Wicked Fairy put a curse on me when I was but an infant.  I'm still waiting for the next Harry Potter book.  I love peanut butter in my ice cream.  I have a tattoo of Mickey Mouse (Got it many years before moving to Orlando).  I am orphaned and have no family, save for an estranged sister.  My car is 16 years old and has been across the country 4 times.  Erin Brockovich is my hero.  I nickname my boyfriends so that everyone can keep up without having to remember actual names.  And this evening I had pizza for dinner again.

I would have written this a few nights ago when I originally set up the journal...but I ran into a friend online, so I went to his house to get high and have sex.

And THAT is a snapshot of my life.